One Mistake I Was Doing That Kept Me From Experiencing Church

One Mistake


Would you agree that attending church on a consistent basis is getting harder and harder to do?  You are not alone!  Jess and I struggled with this too.  

It should come as no surprise that the number of church attenders has been on a steady decrease.  A recent study concluded that 59 percent of Millennials are leaving the church.  That statistic is an eye-opener!

So how did we manage to avoid being one of the 59 percenters that leave church?  Not only did we avoid becoming a stat but become more involved?

Jess and I had been dating for several years now and were close to marriage.  Before finding a home church, where we invested 11 wonderful years, we visited several churches.  While those churches had sound biblical teaching and amazing worship we failed to make a connection.  We had to take a hard look at ourselves and ask the honest question, “what gives and what’s missing?

   Jess and I were the missing.  

We were physically and spiritually present and our desire to connect with other well-meaning members was not.  Jess and I came to the realization that in order for us to fully embrace the Christian walk as intended we would have to allow ourselves to be embraced.  There were older couples that invited us to dinner and we turned down and younger couples we distanced ourselves from.  They all were wonderful people but we did not connect with them.

The Ugly Mistake Revealed

We decided that we would get involved.  The first time it was gut wrenching as we had to learn to be open and vulnerable.  This was the mistake we were making…not being open and vulnerable.  This would mean stepping out of our comfort zone and investing in relationships.  It was not easy but is very doable.  We learned to let our guard down, which included inviting people to lunch or going to lunch when asked.  Yes, those moments were AWKARD but manageable.  Here’s a tip- find common ground you can all discuss.  Use the message series as a starting point or the kids recent activities.

How Liberating!

Had we learned to be open and vulnerable at an early stage our story would have been different and that’s ok! We are both fine with the outcome.  😃

It is when one decides to be open, transparent, and vulnerable that we can make meaningful connections.   BTW this also works in any relationships and career.

You too can decide to no longer be MIA…Ready to make an impact?!    


That’s not all  —–>  Check out the Millennial Moment of the month.  This month’s Millennial has a servant’s heart!  He has lead and organized mission trips to New Mexico, Houston, TX, Texas/Mexico Border.

The Church Expects Nothing from You and 2 Ways to Change That

Why does the Church expect Nothing from Millennials?

Church expects nothing
Church Expectation of Millennials

Millennials, have you wondered what your local church expects from you?   There are no easy words to say this but…NOTHING.

Nothing…yes, that’s right!

I’m confident in stating that fact because society has placed a bad stigma on Millennials.  This stigma concludes that Millennials demand hand-outs or freebies, participation trophies, and their commitment is nonexistent.  This list can continue for many characters. Millennials have been ran through the wringer by previous generations, media, and anyone else with a voice.

Interested in overcoming this stigma?  Let’s see how this can be done.

Work unto The Lord

Remember, whatever you do do it as if working onto the Lord, with all your heart, and know that your reward is a heavenly one.  This is a summary of Colossians 3:23-24.  Do not be disheartened if your work is not noticed.  Learn to shift your focus from one of “me” to your neighbor.  Love your neighbor as yourself. This means looking beyond your needs and focusing on the needs of your neighbor or simply stated your church.

Embrace the Passion

There is no denying that Millennials are passionate!  You’ve probably seen Youtube videos of Cowboy fans, Spurs fan or any other sport where people take a loss seriously.  And should they win they will be the first ones to let you know!   Humans are wired to demonstrate praise and express emotions (without sinning) and being able to keep them in check is important.  Embrace your passion to lead;

  • a study group
  • volunteer
  • to show up

The last point is big.  Show up.  When like-minded Millennials see you make an effort this encourages them and lets them know they can accomplish this.  After all, you probably had similar events happening over the weekend.

As Sunday approaches I hope you consider the points I listed.  Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. Col 3:23-24.  And the passion that drives you let’s turn that into tangible results.